The Habits of Thais
Thailand has taught me a lot of things.
Picture this: You get up in the morning and it’s raining – but stupid humid – and you just know you’re going to have to don that flimsy luminescent yellow anorak (made from pretty much the exact same material that’s used for trash bags) that stretches over you, your backpack and a quarter of your scooter. But, no worries. There are 87 other riders similarly dressed and the guy next to you in the traffic is wearing a sweatband over his helmet over his hoodie and the Pomeranian in his bicycle basket is dressed in a 7-Eleven packet.
It’s also the norm to carry an open umbrella with you, sheltering you from the rain, while whizzing between cars and tuk-tuks and songthaews and airport taxis and buses (each of which are trying to prove their D is the biggest). You’d think the umbrella would get in the way or scratch the adjacent vehicle, which is like half a meter too close. You’d think one of the four passengers on the 125 cc scooter would lose their balance and topple to the tar, but no, I’ve not seen an issue yet. Seems the holders of the umbrellas know something I don’t.
While we’re on umbrellas, did you know that they’re not only made to protect you from the rain? Seriously. You can and should use them like the Thais do: when it’s sunny, cloudy, windy and/ or sleeting. Which leads me to my next observance.
Thais treat the sun like a temperamental evil spirit. They avoid its rays at all costs, never look it directly in the eyes, and sprint across affected areas as if running over hot coals. I’ve literally witnessed a hundred times a Thai person galloping across a 3-meter stretch of unsheltered pavement and seen the relief on his face upon reaching shade safety. When they’re using their trusty umbrellas, they’re more languid about their movements, though.
Jay and I were talking yesterday about how the things that made us laugh and question a year ago seem so normal to us now. I no longer take a second glance at the man with the lipstick and/or cleavage, the 70-year old expat with the very young Thai girl, or the people in their pajamas at 3pm.
Initially, we chuckled at 69 Café and the Women's Massage Center by Ex-Prisoners. To us, places with names like Nawaporn Wellness, Nice-guy Massage, Bang Sue, and Fatshions (a fashion store for bigger women), and singing the Thai National Anthem in the cinema, were atypical. We simpered at the faux pas made in calling a massage spa ‘Let’s Relax’ when Thai people struggle to make the proper distinction between the pronunciation of an ‘r’ and that of an ‘l’. (‘Let Lelac’ is almost always what you’d hear when asking a native to say this English phrase.)
I don’t mean to mock or disrespect the way Thai people speak English. Not at all. I’m talking early-days culture shock. The habits of Thais are endearing now.
Teaching kids to speak and write English is half the challenge. The other half being getting them to say all the parts of a given word. When Thai is spoken, consonants are left out, and more often than not, the ends of words are not articulated. Translate this custom to the English language. Yikes.
It’s also common for Thais to add vowels that aren’t there when speaking English.
I had an experience in a 7-Eleven once when purchasing bottled water. By the way, convenience stores will always give you too many plastic bags and a straw for every bottle of liquid you buy. Even 2L drinking water. So, I was buying water or milk or maybe it was beer and the check-out guy (whose name is This – pronounced Tis – and is the local convenience store guy with whom we’re now quite well acquainted) as usual packed my stuff into one packet, and then another and proceeded to throw in three straws. I have a cupboard full of still-wrapped 7-Eleven straws and another exploding with plastic carrier bags. This time, I tried to communicate that I didn’t want the straws. In addition to removing them from the bags and placing them on the counter in order to return them, I said, “Please keep your straws” and smiled.
Nope. Not a twinkle of recognition in his eyes. A confused expression and a Thai-on Thai exchange later, he asked me “Alli na?”. I responded by picking up one of the straws and handing it to him and repeated, “Keep your straws please, I don’t need.” and was about to walk away when I heard the satisfying sound of him finally getting it and repeating after me “Sataraw ogay” (okay being pronounced with a ‘g’ sound more often than a ‘k’ by Thais) and turned to his colleague, still holding the straw, telling her while pointing to it “is sataraw”.
Super cute. Narak. Anyway, my point’s been illustrated. Moving on.
For those who’ve not been here long, or who plan to travel to Thailand and don’t speak Thai, I have another trick in the bag for you. When I travel by taxi to school on the days Jay only starts at 9.30, I have to communicate my destination to the driver, right? At first I struggled, but now that I’ve lived in the same area long enough to have a taxi guy, I have learnt that if speaking slowly and clearly doesn’t work, to do like the Thais.
Which usually goes like this:-
I want to go to Prince Royal’s College, and I’ve told the guy and he’s looking at me like I’ve suddenly sprouted horns, so I try a bit of Thai mixed with some badly pronounced English. In this case, I say: ‘Rong rien Pin Loyal’ (Rong rien is Thai for school and sometimes sounds like long lien or rong lien or long rien or... you get the picture) and lo and behold, off we go. Fabulous.
The school day’s usually chilled, with about 3 hours of teaching and the other 5 hours of down time classified as office hours. AKA Netflix hours AKA Facebook hours. I really do spend a lot of time at my desk. Or at the coffee shop down the street.
Teaching Chat, Fifa and Bambee is hard work okay.
By the way, Thai kids are the best at calling a spade a spade. About a week ago, Alleen (not a typo) called me fat and told me I was ‘mai suwai’, which translates to ‘not beautiful’. (I was having a shitty day and pizza was my coping mechanism.) Lovely, huh?
Picture this: You get up in the morning and it’s raining – but stupid humid – and you just know you’re going to have to don that flimsy luminescent yellow anorak (made from pretty much the exact same material that’s used for trash bags) that stretches over you, your backpack and a quarter of your scooter. But, no worries. There are 87 other riders similarly dressed and the guy next to you in the traffic is wearing a sweatband over his helmet over his hoodie and the Pomeranian in his bicycle basket is dressed in a 7-Eleven packet.
It’s also the norm to carry an open umbrella with you, sheltering you from the rain, while whizzing between cars and tuk-tuks and songthaews and airport taxis and buses (each of which are trying to prove their D is the biggest). You’d think the umbrella would get in the way or scratch the adjacent vehicle, which is like half a meter too close. You’d think one of the four passengers on the 125 cc scooter would lose their balance and topple to the tar, but no, I’ve not seen an issue yet. Seems the holders of the umbrellas know something I don’t.
While we’re on umbrellas, did you know that they’re not only made to protect you from the rain? Seriously. You can and should use them like the Thais do: when it’s sunny, cloudy, windy and/ or sleeting. Which leads me to my next observance.
Thais treat the sun like a temperamental evil spirit. They avoid its rays at all costs, never look it directly in the eyes, and sprint across affected areas as if running over hot coals. I’ve literally witnessed a hundred times a Thai person galloping across a 3-meter stretch of unsheltered pavement and seen the relief on his face upon reaching shade safety. When they’re using their trusty umbrellas, they’re more languid about their movements, though.
Jay and I were talking yesterday about how the things that made us laugh and question a year ago seem so normal to us now. I no longer take a second glance at the man with the lipstick and/or cleavage, the 70-year old expat with the very young Thai girl, or the people in their pajamas at 3pm.
Initially, we chuckled at 69 Café and the Women's Massage Center by Ex-Prisoners. To us, places with names like Nawaporn Wellness, Nice-guy Massage, Bang Sue, and Fatshions (a fashion store for bigger women), and singing the Thai National Anthem in the cinema, were atypical. We simpered at the faux pas made in calling a massage spa ‘Let’s Relax’ when Thai people struggle to make the proper distinction between the pronunciation of an ‘r’ and that of an ‘l’. (‘Let Lelac’ is almost always what you’d hear when asking a native to say this English phrase.)
I don’t mean to mock or disrespect the way Thai people speak English. Not at all. I’m talking early-days culture shock. The habits of Thais are endearing now.
Teaching kids to speak and write English is half the challenge. The other half being getting them to say all the parts of a given word. When Thai is spoken, consonants are left out, and more often than not, the ends of words are not articulated. Translate this custom to the English language. Yikes.
It’s also common for Thais to add vowels that aren’t there when speaking English.
I had an experience in a 7-Eleven once when purchasing bottled water. By the way, convenience stores will always give you too many plastic bags and a straw for every bottle of liquid you buy. Even 2L drinking water. So, I was buying water or milk or maybe it was beer and the check-out guy (whose name is This – pronounced Tis – and is the local convenience store guy with whom we’re now quite well acquainted) as usual packed my stuff into one packet, and then another and proceeded to throw in three straws. I have a cupboard full of still-wrapped 7-Eleven straws and another exploding with plastic carrier bags. This time, I tried to communicate that I didn’t want the straws. In addition to removing them from the bags and placing them on the counter in order to return them, I said, “Please keep your straws” and smiled.
Nope. Not a twinkle of recognition in his eyes. A confused expression and a Thai-on Thai exchange later, he asked me “Alli na?”. I responded by picking up one of the straws and handing it to him and repeated, “Keep your straws please, I don’t need.” and was about to walk away when I heard the satisfying sound of him finally getting it and repeating after me “Sataraw ogay” (okay being pronounced with a ‘g’ sound more often than a ‘k’ by Thais) and turned to his colleague, still holding the straw, telling her while pointing to it “is sataraw”.
Super cute. Narak. Anyway, my point’s been illustrated. Moving on.
For those who’ve not been here long, or who plan to travel to Thailand and don’t speak Thai, I have another trick in the bag for you. When I travel by taxi to school on the days Jay only starts at 9.30, I have to communicate my destination to the driver, right? At first I struggled, but now that I’ve lived in the same area long enough to have a taxi guy, I have learnt that if speaking slowly and clearly doesn’t work, to do like the Thais.
Which usually goes like this:-
I want to go to Prince Royal’s College, and I’ve told the guy and he’s looking at me like I’ve suddenly sprouted horns, so I try a bit of Thai mixed with some badly pronounced English. In this case, I say: ‘Rong rien Pin Loyal’ (Rong rien is Thai for school and sometimes sounds like long lien or rong lien or long rien or... you get the picture) and lo and behold, off we go. Fabulous.
The school day’s usually chilled, with about 3 hours of teaching and the other 5 hours of down time classified as office hours. AKA Netflix hours AKA Facebook hours. I really do spend a lot of time at my desk. Or at the coffee shop down the street.
Teaching Chat, Fifa and Bambee is hard work okay.
By the way, Thai kids are the best at calling a spade a spade. About a week ago, Alleen (not a typo) called me fat and told me I was ‘mai suwai’, which translates to ‘not beautiful’. (I was having a shitty day and pizza was my coping mechanism.) Lovely, huh?
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